From the halls of Foxboro Stadium…

Live Blog: Revs @ Chivas USA

Posted by Mike Marshall on September 10, 2010

Reason #1,573 to hate Los Angeles: 10:30 PM Eastern kickoffs.

For the record, I’m doing this on roughly six hours of sleep, thanks to Real Salt Lake and Seattle.  This game should end around 1:00 AM in the morning local time, and my 2-year old will probably be awake by 6:15 AM.

Oh, and I have to go to work tomorrow.  At this point, I’d be in favor of lighting the MLS Schedule Maker on fire.

I am joined by a glass of chocolate milk (…like I said, I have to go to work tomorrow), a warm roast beef sandwich, a box of Kleenex, a recently-opened box of cold medication, and a bottle of Advil.  That’s right, on top of everything, I have a cold that I can’t seem to shake.  I have two adorable snot-nosed, bratty, little germ factories that I love more than life itself… but if they don’t stop making me sick, I’m never going to make physical contact with them again.

Anyway, lineups…

New England: Reis, Gibbs, Osei, Barnes, Alston, Tierney, Phelan, Joseph, Dube, Schilawski, Stolica

Chivas USA: Thornton, Jazic, Delgado, Umana, Trujillo, Espinoza, Nagamura, Zemanski, Lahoud, Gordon, Braun

10:25 PM: Accidentally tuned in to CSN early and caught the end of “Sports Tonight”.  Felger really is a a douchebag.

1st Minute: Alston feeds Stolica at the top of the Goats’ penalty area, but the Serbian can’t actually trap the ball, or else he gets a good look on goal.

5th: Hey, if you’re in the area, good seats are still available.

6th: Chivas USA 1-0 New England. Well, that didn’t take long.  Maybe I’ll be able to go to bed early, after all.  Gordon plays Braun into space behind Darrius Barnes, and Braun is able to chip Matt Reis from a tough angle.


10th: Did Brad Feldman just call Justin Braun and Alan Gordon “The Bruise Brothers”???  Yikes.

11th: I knew two good games in a row was too much to ask of Kheli Dube.

13th: Long ball out of the back eludes Alston, but Espinoza gets too deep and ultimately hands Reis an easy stop.

14th: Playing Stolica as a target forward sounds like a good idea… until you realize he’s holding the ball up and distributing to the likes of Dube, Tierney, Schilawski, and Phelan.

18th: At this point, stringing together five passes in the Chivas USA end of the field would be an accomplishment for the Revs.

21st: Tierney does well to earn a corner kick.  Okulaja calls for a goal kick.  At this point, I think Abbey feels like he’s got a quota of missed calls he needs to reach every week.

22nd: Nicol’s assessment of his team’s first 20 minutes: “Horrible”.

And that is why he’s the best in-game interview in MLS History.

25th: Feldman: “The Revs are just giving the ball away for fun now.”

26th: Should be 2-0.  Nice cross in from Espinoza, headed wide by Alan Gordon because… well, because he’s Alan Gordon.

29th: White, Darrius.  We’re wearing white tonight.

33rd: Nice point by Heaps… Ante Jazic is handing Chris Tierney his lunch at the moment.

35th: Delgado heads wide from a corner kick.

36th: Chivas USA 2-0 New England. Alan Gordon sets up Nagamura from the edge of the area.  Reis gets a hand on it, but can’t keep it from finding side netting.  Frankly, the scoreline is a bit flattering from the Revs’ perspective.

39th: First time in 20 minutes of counting the Revs have completed five passes successfully on the attacking side of the field.  Results in a long shot from Stolica that Thornton handles easily.

41st: Reis is forced to make a diving stop on Alan Gordon from long range after three Revs defenders inexplicably decide to back off him.  Still feel like there’s a decent chance we’ll see another goal from Chivas before halftime.

44th: Lahoud’s cross is dealt with poorly by Osei.  The ball falls for Braun, who tries to spin and shoot, but ends up dribbling out of bounds.

Halftime: Chivas USA 2-0 New England. Umm… the less said about that half from the Good Guys, the better.

46th: We’re saved!  Khaninho is on at halftime to rescue the Revs.  Sainey Nyassi also on for the Revs.  Looks like Osei and Schilawski are off.  Revs have moved to a 3-5-2.

47th: Chivas picks up where they left off as Reis has to get down quickly to stop a header from Nagamura.

55th: It’s happened again… Khano Smith shoots, and the ball goes out of bounds for a Chivas USA throw-in.

59th: My bed is calling me.  Either that, or this game is putting me to sleep.

62nd: Kenny Mansally on for Zach Schilawski?  I thought he was subbed off at halftime?  Might as well have been, because he’s been invisible all night.  Nyassi might have replaced Kheli Dube, now that I think about it.

66th: Note to Chris Tierney: Don’t dribble.  Ever.

68th: Awesome.  The Revs need offense and they turn to Khano freakin’ Smith.  Chivas USA tries to protect a lead, and they replace Alan Gordon with Sal Zizzo.  No, the Revs don’t have any depth issues at all.

71st: Whatever you do, Cory Gibbs… don’t close the space on Justin Braun.  He may not look like it, but he’s the second coming of Messi.  You get too close, and he’ll be by you like a flash of lightning.  Jesus.

75th: Revs are awarded a penalty after Jazic clearly handles a Shalrie Joseph header in the box.

And by “awarded a penalty”, I mean “screwed by Okulaja”?

76th: Reis drops a cross from Braun, and then scrambles to force the ball out of bounds.

76th: Khano Smith is such an embarrassment to this organization.  What a punk.

77th: Braun wrestles Khaninho to the ground, and Smith is down and hurt.  Feldman says the Revs are down to 10 men.  Keen observers would argue that they’ve been playing a man down ever since Smith was subbed in.

80th: Braun is subbed off in favor of Giancarlo Maldonado, who is Venezuela’s all-time leading scorer.  Ahead of Giovanni Savarese?

82nd: Mansally heads a free kick from Tierney wide of goal.  Mansally’s provided a bit of a spark off the bench, which means we likely won’t see him for the rest of the season.

85th: Maldonado shoots just wide of the post.  Should have been 3-0.

88th: Saragosa on for Nagamura.

Final: Chivas USA 2-0 New England. The Revs got exactly what they deserved from this game – nothing.  An abortion of an effort in the first half sealed their fate.

This is why we f*&^(%$ drink…

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